Half Way Point....and Soooo Far Behind!!!

Well, here we are at the half way point.  I will be 40 years old in less than 6 months.  I decided to take a look at the list and see how I'm doing.  Bummer....I expected better!  I'm waaaayyyy behind. 

At first, I was geting a little down on myself.  There are things on the list that are most likely not going to happen.  There are things on this list that did not happen EXACTLY as I had envisioned. I set goals I'm not going to accomplish.  I'm half way through this year...and I'm already disappointing myself.  True to Tammy self....the low-self-esteem, self doubt started creeping in.  Hello girl...you made this list.  You set the goals.  You listed the parameters.  And you can't even meet your own standards.  FAILURE!

Thankfully, this bad attiture, self-doubt did not last too long.  The main objective here....was to live deliberately.  Try new things.  Seek out new opportunities to gasp life and live to the fullest!  The list below, just suggestions....ideas....possibilities!  There are so many things I've done in the past 6 months....that are not on the list....that fall under the category of "living life deliberately!" 

God's grace...my hope....my peace!  I needed to offer myself grace.  Offer myself forgivenes for having self doubt.  Offer myself kindness for wanting a life rich in love and experience, even if sometimes it looks messy or doesn't go "as planned".  Offer myself a blessing as I continue on this path towards 40...with love, hope, and excitement!  There is much work to be done!

So....here's the color code:

Red = things I've done!
Purple = things that are in progress
Green = things that are scheduled
Black = things I still plan to do, but have not yet done.
Blue = changes to things I would like to get accomplished.


1. Read a classic novel - I've started Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
2.  Start at gratitude/ prayer journal for nightly reflection - I continue to enjoy this so very much!!!

 3.  Go to the jazz festival in New Orleans

 4.  Relearn to crochet and make each of my children a blanket
 5.  Volunteer one night a month at Breaking Bread
 6.  Write a letter to the 5 most influential people in my life - I've written two of the five.
 7.  Take a dance class
 8.  Start golf lessons

 9.  Get a new tattoo - hopefully scheduled for Sunday, July 5th!
10.  Climb Enchanted Rock
11.  Get a will - paperwork completed.  Submitting to lawyer this week.
12.  Go camping in Fort Davis/ Davis Mountains - Scheduled for September 10-13th
13.  Go skinny dipping in the ocean

14.  Bake a pumpkin pie from scratch
15.  Eat oysters on the half shell

16.  Plan/ organize a wine and canvass night for friends
17.  Run/ walk a 5K race
18.  Learn to fly fish = Lose 40 pounds by my 40th birthday (December 16th)
19.  Go to an opera at the MET
20.  Go to Rockefeller Center at Christmas time
21.  Take a class at the community college (MCC) for fun
22.  Give an unsuspecting waiter/ waitress a $100 tip

23.  Become proficient at shooting a pistol/ get my CHL - have been shooting and plan to continue!

24.  Fly a plane

25.  Commit one new scripture to memory monthly - obviously this is on-going! So far:

Hebrews 12:1

Isaiah 40:30-31

Ephesians 3:20

Proverbs 3:5-6

1 Chronicles 16:11

Proverbs 16:3

 

26.  Girls trip with my mom, aunt, cousins, and sister-in-law
27.  40 random acts of kindness during the year - obviously ongoing!  Trust me!
28.  Go parasailing
29.  Camp in the backyard with the kids - on the plan for July 17th.
30.  Buy a new cookbook and cook a new meal every night for a week.
31.  Start writing my book
32.  Take a make-up class and master the "smokey-eye".
33.  Host a wine tasting event in our home
34.  Take my nieces on a weekend get-a-way
35.  Travel to Christ in the Desert for a solitude weekend with the monks
36.  Go skydiving
37.  Get certified to scuba dive = Plan a Women's Prayer Service at our church in September. 
38.  Open my kids each an email address and start writing them letters/ emails/ notes
39.  Read about/ and learn to understand another religion other than Christianity.
40.  Completely unplug while on vacations....and be connected to the current moment.

February Highlights

February has come and gone so quickly.  This is exactly what I'm talking about people....time fleeting with many days not embraced for the opportunities and moments that could have been.  Smiles not given.  Kind words not shared.  Good not done.

We each have the opportunity to squeeze out EVERY.LAST.DROP of each day.  I know...I'm tired too.  And that is ok...but, I want to at least try.  Try to seize moments I otherwise would let pass by.  Try to grasp hold of the smells, sights, feelings of the ordinary day.  Try to go to sleep each night knowing that I gave it my very best...all day.  I'm a work in progress, but progressing nonetheless!

So...on to February's 40BY40 update.

Not many things marked off the list this month....but, the month has not gone without several success stories!

This month's memory verse: Isaiah 40:30-31

"Even young people become worn out and get tired.  Even the strongest of them trip and fall.  But those who trust in the Lord will receive new strength.  They will fly high as eagles.  They will run and not get tired.  They will walk and not grow weak."

Good stuff people!  No one is immune.  We all grow tired.  We all have days of sheer exhaustion.  We all experience moments where we fall and think...I simply CAN NOT get up and I'm not sure I even want to get up.  But, how much comfort does this verse provide!  "Trust in the Lord, and you will receive strength".  His promise to renew my strength is...well...AWESOME!

I've continued on with my daily gratitude/ prayer journal.  I have missed a few days here and there...but for the most part, this continues to be an important part of my day.

Throughout this short month, I have had the opportunity to bless a few folks with some Random Acts of Kindness.  MY FAVORITE THING!  I want to do this all day....everyday.

 

NEW THING OFF THE LIST!

 

As part of my 40BY40, I wanted to work one night a month at Breaking Bread Kitchen...serving dinner to those in need.  Well, I missed January....but I made it this month and can't wait to go back.  Serving at a soup kitchen....is in a word...humbling.  These people leave pride behind...coming forward in a time of need and ask for help.  In my life, I've never experienced this kind of need or hunger.  I've never wondered where my next meal was coming from, or how I was going to feed my family.  To serve others, especially those in need...the least of these, is something God calls us to do, and I look forward to my monthly "meeting" with the folks at Breaking Bread!



March is here, and I look forward to all the new opportunities that will present themselves throughout the month.  Just a hint....I've started booking trips, looking at tattoo options, and writing letters!

January...LATE POST!

January...new year, fresh start, new beginning...we say all these things each and every time the calendar turns.

All of us will have first this year.  All of us will try something we've never tried, experience something we've never experienced, meet someone we've never known. 

If we are doing each year up right....we will add "failure" to our list, because that means we've been trying new things.  And face the facts folks, not everything works out.  Not everything is a success.  But...you will never know, if you don't step out....reach out....get moving....and run the race God set before you.

January memory verse:
Hebrews 12:1
Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won’t let go. And we must be determined to run, with perseverance, the race that is ahead of us.

This year, 2015....the year that I turn will turn 40, will hopefully be one of intent, filled with "firsts!" As you may recall, I have listed out 40 things I would like to accomplish over the next year.  Each of the things is designed to help me grow....living more deliberately.

As listed above, one of the 40 was to memorize a new scripture each month.  January's scripture was truly decided upon by opening my bible...and just flipping through.  Low and behold, this scripture was perfect...right on target, AND....was one of only a few in my new-ish bible...that was underlined.

Another thing I started off the list...actually on December 17th (the day after I turned 39) was the daily gratitude/ prayer journal. 

I've so enjoyed recanting my day each evening right before I go to bed.  It's the very last thing I do! 



We went on a family vacation in January....and I was so hoping to check SEVERAL things off the list.  But, things don't always pan out the way you hope or expect.

Two things I can mark off the 40BY40 list....

I was completely unplugged the entire vacation.  I check Facebook and email for the last time right before we boarded our final flight.  I left my phone in my bag and didn't look at it one.single.time.  It was absolutely liberating.  At first....I actually found it difficult, which is....in a word...SAD!  I know that I'm on my phone much too often and that I miss out on important things going on all around me.  But, I never thought I would find it difficult to unplug.  By day two...maybe three, I didn't even give it a second thought.  I simply embraced the life and love around me....breathing in each moment.  So far...one of the best things on my 40By40 list, and one I hope to continue LONG after this year is over.

And number 2.....drum roll please!

I SKINNY DIPPED IN THE OCEAN!  True...it was only for a moment.  And true...I swam out in my bathing suit and then took it off....again, putting it back on before I exited the water.  But hey...I did it.  And....it was at a public beach, during the day!  So....give a girl some props for that! 

Additionally, in the month of January, I did manage several (4 I think) Random Act of Kindness.  I love it when an opportunity comes up to bless someone's day....pay it forward....show unexpected kindness.  I truly wish I could just spend all day...and most of my money, doing just that...Blessing other's peoples day!

Well, that's January.  I look forward to what February has in store! Here's to living with intent! 

Cheers!

Well....look who just turned 39!!!!

Well, the happy birthdays have ended...the gifts have been opened...the nice dinner has happened...and just like that, I'm 39 years old.

 I wish I could tell you all the highlights of my 39th year, but just like many of the years before, it came and went like a flash of dizzying light.  Many great things happened, memories were made, life changes happened, but honestly...I can't recant the details of any of it.  Is it due to having "mommy brain"....or because of the brain atrophy that comes with age?  I have no clue! 

I hope I lived well.  I hope that I represented my self with honesty and authenticity.  I hope that I said "yes" more often than "no".  I hope that I seized opportunities to stretch, grow, and move.  Most importantly, I hope that God looks down on my 39th year...and smiles with approval.  However, I pray that he shakes his head indicating...."I'm not done with you!  There is more, Tammy Vaught....there is so much more!  You have much to learn, much more growth to experience.  Your race is long my daughter, so get running."

So, I've decided to pounce on this next year...my FORTIETH YEAR!!!!!!  I've decided to live deliberately.  To quote Henry David Thoreau "I want to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."  I complied a list of 40 things I would like to do during my 40th year.  Each of these things will provide an opportunity to grow and stretch.  Some may increase physical strength...while others may promote growth in faith...while others may help promote deepening of relationships....and still others will encourage expansion of the mind. 

My hope is to blog regularly....maybe monthly, about my progression through the list.  I want to attempt to document the experiences along the way...much like I did with our adoption story, as to capture the fun, growth, and excitement!

So.....drum roll please....here is THE LIST!

 1. Read a classic novel
 2.  Start at gratitude/ prayer journal for nightly reflection
 3.  Go to the jazz festival in New Orleans
 4.  Relearn to crochet and make each of my children a blanket
 5.  Volunteer one night a month at Breaking Bread
 6.  Write a letter to the 5 most influential people in my life
 7.  Take a dance class
 8.  Start golf lessons
 9.  Get a new tattoo
10.  Climb Enchanted Rock
11.  Get a will
12.  Go camping in Fort Davis/ Davis Mountains
13.  Go skinny dipping in the ocean
14.  Bake a pumpkin pie from scratch
15.  Eat oysters on the half shell
16.  Plan/ organize a wine and canvass night for friends
17.  Run/ walk a 5K race
18.  Learn to fly fish
19.  Go to an opera at the MET
20.  Go to Rockefeller Center at Christmas time
21.  Take a class at the community college (MCC) for fun
22.  Give an unsuspecting waiter/ waitress a $100 tip
23.  Become proficient at shooting a pistol/ get my CHL
24.  Fly a plane
25.  Commit one new scripture to memory monthly
26.  Girls trip with my mom, aunt, cousins, and sister-in-law
27.  40 random acts of kindness during the year
28.  Go parasailing
29.  Camp in the backyard with the kids
30.  Buy a new cookbook and cook a new meal every night for a week.
31.  Start writing my book
32.  Take a make-up class and master the "smokey-eye".
33.  Host a wine tasting event in our home
34.  Take my nieces on a weekend get-a-way
35.  Travel to Christ in the Desert for a solitude weekend with the monks
36.  Go skydiving
37.  Get certified to scuba dive
38.  Open my kids each an email address and start writing them letters/ emails/ notes
39.  Read about/ and learn to understand another religion other than Christianity.
40.  Completely unplug while on vacations....and be connected to the current moment.

I'm excited to get started on this amazing journey and look forward to all that is to come!  Here's to year #40.